Thursday, August 9, 2012

A Salute to Female Inventors

Lately I've heard a lot of people say "Women haven't contributed as much to the world as men. Men invented everything!"

That statement makes me mad because there were female inventors in the past but they call them something different...what was it? Oh yeah...WITCHES!!!
This was just for making dinner taste too good, imagine what would of happened it they'd invented the light-bulb?! 
Not to mention women were not allowed to own property & a patent is intellectual property. Property was owned by the woman's father or husband...that ain't right! So, many women filed patents under their husbands names. Makes you think... never mind stop it, actions like that can get a woman hung!
"Suffrage, why would women want more suffrage?" If that's what you are thinking, congrats you're a moron!
But many women fought hard for women's rights & women did invent some cool stuff:

Josephine Cochrane, invented the dishwasher 1872:
Fuck penicillin, I'd rather have syphilis over doing dishes any day of the week!
Tabitha Babbitt inventer the Circular Saw 1812:
Bad Ass! Bet you thought it was a man.

Grace Hopper invented The Compiler and COBOL Computer Language 1952:

Wow, my grandma didn't even knew how to turn on the computer let alone develop code! You go girl!

Mary Anderson invented the windshield wiper 1903:
OMG, what did people do before they had windshield wipers?! Oh yeah...crash!  

Stephanie Kwolek invented Kevlar 1966:
Shoot for the stars...get it shoot!
Mary Phelps Jacob invented the Modern Brassiere:
Thank you! Without you my tits would sag lower than Larry King's scrotum!
 Marion Donovan invented the disposable diaper 1950:
My Sis-in-law once tried cloth diapers & it was horrific! HORRIFIC!!! This women deserves a Nobel Prize!
So be proud to be a woman & if someone insults you or your gender tell them to "Fuck off" & if that fails, a throat punch always does the trick. Now, I'm not saying I advocate throat punches, I mean I do but I'm not saying that. 
Seriously! We can, scientists created mice pups from 2 female mice. No male mice or sperm were involved in that invention of LIFE. So men be nice or else!
Sure men are winning the invention race but hey they had one hell of a head start. But thanks to the brave women of yesterday, today we enjoy freedom & rights to invent & prosper without all the hurdles like hangings! So go out, invent something & change the world because you can!